Sometime a single phrase can increase bitterness in one setting and lead to reconciliation in another.
Jacob’s wife Rachel, frustrated that she is seemingly unable to become pregnant, complains to Jacob that he should do something about it. Jacob replies: “Am I in God’s place?” (HaTachat Elokim Anochi?) Who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” (30:2). We can presume that Jacob’s response, though it was accurate, probably did not assuage Rachel’s anxiety and pain.
Decades later, after Jacob has died and his sons return after his burial to their new homestead in Egypt, the ten sons (of Leah and the handmaids) fear that now – with Jacob gone – Joseph may take revenge on them for selling him into slavery. They send a message requesting his forgiveness and then appear before him, where they kneel down and state: “Behold, we are your slaves.” Joseph replies: “Fear not, for am I in God’s place? (HaTachat Elokim Ani?)” (50:18). He proceeds to reassure his brothers that he is not carrying a grudge and intends to act towards them only with kindness.
Nehama Leibowitz, in her essay “What If Joseph Hates Us?” notes that the Midrash Tanhuma picks up on this striking similarity in phrases and sees a connection. Perhaps Joseph’s magnanimous act of forgiveness was the ideal counterbalance for a moment of great insensitivity his father had shown to Joseph’s mother. In the best circumstances, we see our children learn and grow from our mistakes. And that is one of the greatest blessings.
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