Parshas Ki Seitzei - Wicked until ...

This week’s parsha offers us a powerful message, encapsulated in the change of one word.

“If a quarrel should occur among men and they bring it to court and a decision is issued and (the judges) determine who is righteous and they convict the wicked. Should the wicked man deserve to be flogged, the judge shall have him lie down and have him flogged in front of him in the amount befitting his crime, in its number (of lashes required for the crime). Forty lashes is the judge to have him (the guilty party) flogged, he may not add; lest he flog him further, to excess, then your brother will be slighted before you. (Devarim 25:1-3).

Rashi notices that the individual identified as a ‘wicked man’ in the first and second verse is suddenly referred to as ‘your brother’ after he is flogged the requisite amount required by law. Rashi comments succinctly: He is constantly described as a criminal but after the flogging he is called “your brother.” The lesson we are to take from this word change is a pointed one. Someone may fall into error and become contentious, even destructive (initiating the “quarrel” of our verse). But once his error is publicly identified and some form of suitable corrective is meted out, we are no longer entitled to refer to him as ‘wicked’; instead, we must consider him again as our brother.

This lesson, simple as it seems, is not so easily followed. The situation that comes most readily to mind, for me, is in family life. Too often in memory, I have pointed out a problem to my daughter and then allowed my impression of her in that unfortunate moment to linger for a long while in my mind. The same holds true after having a heated dispute with one of my brothers. The verses in the Torah portion indicate, to me, that once the ‘punishment’ is dealt (be it a reprimand to a child or heated words with a relative), then we are urged to move on – as quickly as we can – and work towards seeing that person in a loving and compassionate manner.