Parshas Vayishlach - Considering Rashi's comment on Yaacov's message to Eisav

In the beginning of Parshas Vayishlach, Yaacov sends the following message to his brother Eisav: "I have lodged with my father-in-law Lavan and therefore I have been gone for so many years." Rashi comments that the word 'Garti,' which means 'I have lodged,' has the numerical equivalent of 613. This represented an additional message to Eisav, that despite having lived with Lavan for all of these years, Yaacov was still able to perform the 613 Mitzvos and was not influenced by Lavan’s evil ways.

One may ask, why would Yaacov want to send this message to Eisav. Yaacov’s entire strategy with regard to Eisav was one of appeasement. Yaacov prepared elaborate gifts for Eisav and even was ready to bow down to him. He would do anything to avoid a deadly conflict with Eisav and his militia. Why then would Yaacov make a seemingly boastful statement which hints at Yaacov’s superiority and worthiness of receiving his father’s blessings?

Further on in the Parsha Yaacov took his family across the river and he then remained alone on the other side. It was at this time that the angel of Eisav wrestled with Yaacov. Many commmentaries ask about the meaning of the phrase 'And Yaacov remained alone'. What is the significance of this? Rabbi Gedalya Schorr ZT'L explains that this is a reference to Yaacov's strength of character. Whereas many people are strongly influenced by the opinions of others, Yaacov was able to act purely based on what he thought was correct. Even when among other who disapprove of and ridicule his ways, Yaacov was able to remain 'alone', and not be pressured to change. As an example, Yaacov was ridiculed in Lavan's household, for his honesty and for constantly falling for Lavan’s tricks. Despite being laughed at and ridiculed, Yaacov continued to do what he knew was right. He faithfully watched Lavan’s sheep, even when it kept him up all night.

This can perhaps explain Yaacov’s message to Eisav. In order to avert a potential conflict, Yaacov was ready to show his subservience to Eisav. He would bow down, and do whatever was necessary to appease Eisav, but Yaacov wanted to clearly delineate how far he will go. The message to Eisav was, I will bow to you, and I will appease you, but I will not allow myself to be influenced negatively by you, even if this is your desire. Yaacov's ability to remain independent was the source of his strength, and he could not compromise on that.

Guest posting
by Rabbi Israel Botnick